


Home To Stay

by thefullmetaledwardelric



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22419988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefullmetaledwardelric/pseuds/thefullmetaledwardelric
Summary: Ed gets it in his head that he needs to go and see the world but that also means he has to leave Roy behind... but is it really the relationship breaker that Roy thinks it is?
Relationships: Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Kudos: 47





	Home To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> The things that go through my head when I’m going through YouTube and decide to listen to Josh Groban. I was actually listening to his song of the same name as this fic when the idea hit me. I could see Roy sitting and thinking of Ed as I listened to the song, longing to bring him home after Ed had decided that the wonder lust had gotten the best of him. I do recommend listening to the song as you read… I wrote it as I listened so… Well… Enjoy…  
> A link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIHcdpMlrak

The lights had started to come on, the sun fading into the horizon. Another day was slipping away, just as every other had for the last ten years. Dark eyes closed behind the lens of spectacles, a tired sigh slipping through thin lips. The years had started to show in the aging alchemist’s features, lines of gray slipping through raven hair, lines of laughter and sorrow cut into the fair skin of his face, but Roy Mustang wouldn’t trade a day of it.

Reaching over to the table, he picked up the stack of photographs that had been laying there. With fond eyes he looked upon the face that smiled back at him. Bright eyes he knew so well, lit up further with that lopsided smile he loved. With a light finger, he traced over the line of the younger man’s features and he could feel the old familiar ache building in his chest. Placing those images down, he then picked up the latest letter and read it over for what had to be at least the hundredth time since it had arrived a few weeks ago. Scrawling penmanship, almost impossible for anyone but someone who was used to it to read…

That was his Edward…

The ache pulled even more at Roy’s chest and it was everything he could do to keep back the longing he felt to have Ed home again. It was even more of a battle to wrestle back the hint of the tears he felt building at the corners of his dark eyes. It was in the still quiet of the evenings that he missed the blond the most, it had always been that way… Tonight of all nights though, it was the worst.

~~~

They had been together barely a year, everything was perfect, well at least as perfect as anything could have been between the hot headed Fullmetal Alchemist and the steel headed Flame Alchemist. They had been quiet about their relationship, not that it was any big secret from those that were closest to them, but they had made it work. They had shared a small apartment in Central after Edward had come back to the city. His brother had gone off to Xing, his mechanic friend had her life in Rush Valley, and he had come back to Central to take a job that Roy had set up for him.

It hadn’t taken long for the two of them to really reconnect, to find there was more there than just the banter and the bickering. Roy had finally seen Ed in a light that he never had, Edward Elric had matured into a striking young man and the more time they had spent together, the more that became clear. They had spent quiet evenings together, gone to the theater, dinners out… everything two people who enjoyed each other’s company would do. They talked about alchemy, science, politics, nearly everything. They even still had their moments of arguing and biting bickering.

The day things changed though was one that Roy would never forget. It had been a rare day off for the now Brigadier General and he and Ed had decided to spend it out in the country at a lake they had become fond of. There was a small log cabin out there that they had come to rent often when they could get away. The only item that was solid on the itinerary was dinner by the fire, the rest of the time the pair had agreed to just let be filled with whatever happened to suit their fancy.

It was that evening though that everything seemed to change. They had been curled up in the bed, Ed with his head resting against Roy’s chest, an idle finger tracing over the muscle lines of the elder man. Roy had his eyes closed, simply enjoying the touch, the feel of his lover warm against him.

“Hey Roy,” Ed had started innocently enough. “I want to go away…”

Opening his eyes, he looked down at the blond, grinning a bit at him. “Alright, just name where and we’ll go.”

A heavy sigh left the younger man’s lips as he sat up, releasing himself from his lover’s hold. “No Roy, that’s not what I mean. I want to travel again, I want to go places, learn things again. I don’t want to settle in Central.”

Roy felt his heart sink in his chest and the wind leave his lungs as if he had just been punched hard in the gut. He knew what Ed was implying. He wanted to go and a trip like this wasn’t one Roy could join him on, not unless he wanted to give up everything he had been working all this time for. As he lay there, he knew he had to say something but he couldn’t bring himself to. Thankfully, Ed had turned to look back at him and had seen the look in the elder man’s eyes. Roy knew the pain shown in them; he’d stopped trying to hide his emotions completely from Ed long before…

“Don’t look at me like that Roy,” he’d said sadly. “Did you honestly think I could stay still long?”

Finally sitting up, Roy ran his hands back through his bed mussed hair and sighed heavily. “No… You’ve always been a live wire… it’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you,” he replied quietly. He was trying to keep the pain from slipping into his voice but knew he probably failed terribly. The failure was actually confirmed when he felt Ed’s arm slip over his shoulders, the warmth of his face resting against him. “And just when were you planning to leave?”

Ed’s breath was warm against Roy’s skin as he sighed. The weight told Roy that the younger man had been planning this already, maybe for awhile. “I was planning to leave in two days… when you left to go out to the West for that summit meeting. I thought that if you were distracted when I left… well… that it might be easier.” Roy could hear the regret in Ed’s voice, as if the younger man already knew that was a poor excuse. A poor excuse not only for the short notice and a poor excuse to pretty much just walk out of Roy’s life.

He wanted to rage, get angry and beat the crap out of Ed but he just couldn’t, he couldn’t be mad. Hurt, yes, but mad, no. “How long are you planning to be gone Fullmetal?” he asked flatly.

“I… I don’t know Roy… I don’t know what I’m going to find while I’m gone. I can’t put a time limit on it. You know how I am, how I get if I find something that truly pulls me in…”

Funny, Roy had thought he was one of those things, but he supposed it had been foolish to think that way. “Is there… was there anything I could have done… Is there anything I can do to convince you not to go?” he asked quietly.

“No Roy… I have to do this. I have to know what’s out there. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t at least give it a try.”

Nodding, Roy pulled away from Ed and pushed the covers off of himself, he needed to get out of the bed, needed space to breath, to process this. Internally he was cursing himself slightly for letting Ed get this close to him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on to the blond forever, he knew he shouldn’t have let him in as far as he had just for that reason. But Roy couldn’t deny him anything he wanted either, he never really could, make him work for it, that was easy, but not outright deny him. Going to the window, Roy put his hands to the sill and looked out over the calm water of the lake outside. He was thankful for its peace, a sharp contrast to the tempest that he felt inside at the moment.

Ed hesitated in the bed before he too got up to stand beside his lover. “Roy, I’m sorry…” he said quietly.

“Yeah, so am I…”

~~~

The next two days passed in a blur. Roy tried to keep himself from bringing up what was happening but the tension between he and Ed was so thick one could easily cut through it with a knife the sparse time they were in the same room together. He spent most of the time locked in his office, coming home so late that he knew Ed would already have passed out. Well, that only worked the first night, but the second, the night before the blond was supposed to leave, he had waited up.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” the blond had growled at him when he’d come in the door. “You know I’m leaving tomorrow… you haven’t even tried to spend any time with me before I left! You’re acting like you don’t give a damn about the fact I’m leaving tomorrow!”

Roy had only looked at the man with cold, unfeeling eyes. He was torn apart inside, hurting, angry. He was angrier at himself though for being a coward and not spending this time with Ed. He couldn’t help it though; Roy had never been good with good-byes of any sort. He had put his mask back on; shut himself back up, it was the only thing he could think to do to keep the ache from tearing him apart.

“Would you at least SAY something?!” the blond demanded.

“What’s to say?” Roy answered with a tone as icy as his gaze. “This time tomorrow you’re going to be off for who knows where and I’ll be here, just like it used to be. That’s that…”

Ed’s face instantly washed in violent red, the anger welling up so much that he lashed out and grabbed Roy by his black coat, his golden eyes bright against the dark red of his face. “DAMN IT YOU BASTARD! What kind of answer is that? You’re talking like nothing about the last year mattered! Like you don’t care! Like you never did!”

Roy’s own anger welled and he easily threw Ed off of him. “YOU’RE THE ONE LEAVING LIKE IT NEVER MATTERED!” he yelled back, the switch being thrown inside him when Ed had dared to imply that what they’d shared didn’t matter. “I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE LEAVING!?” Roy huffed in his anger, his breathing quick as he tried to calm himself down. “You just up and told me that you wanted to leave, gave nothing but a few days warning before doing it. You’re the one that’s acting like you and I never mattered, Ed.”

Roy felt that same sinking feeling in his chest as he had the other night when Ed first told him. He wasn’t one to cry and he wasn’t going to now but the feeling swam in the recesses of his emotions. This was insane and Roy knew it. They shouldn’t be arguing right now but neither of them had ever been really good at talking stuff like this out with each other without yelling.

As Roy was finally able to focus fully again, he saw the look on Ed’s face. It looked hurt, like Roy had actually physically belted him, though he figured the blond would have preferred that. He shook his head lightly. “What do you want me to do Ed?” he asked. “I’m not going to sit here and beg you to stay; I’m not going to stop you from doing what you want. Do I WANT you to leave? No way in hell… I want you to stay here with me okay? Oh hell…” he huffed, turning away from the blond. “Damn it Ed, it feels like you don’t give a damn about our relationship or me… you leaving like this…”

Ed’s eyes widened a bit. “Is… is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asked quietly, the anger leaving his face, though it remained red. “Roy… that’s not why… that’s not what I meant…” he stumbled as he went over and put his hand on Roy’s shoulder.

“I know, I know. You never were good with timing or words or anything of the sort… I know Ed. But think about it for a minute. Springing this on me… not giving me a real chance to process it before you just leave… It’s like you’re ashamed and just trying to run away,” the elder man answered. “Plus, I know I shouldn’t have expected you to stay but I did. I dared to let myself believe that I was enough to keep your interest, to keep you here. I was wrong about that too it would seem…”

The hand on Roy’s shoulder tightened and he could hear the sound of Ed’s breathing pick up. He knew the younger man was fighting just as hard as he was to keep his emotions under control but it would seem that maybe he’d struck a nerve and the blond was having a bit harder time of it. He admitted, he did feel slightly bad if that was the case but those things needed to be said and he wouldn’t apologize for telling his lover the truth.

“I was never ashamed of us Roy,” the blond replied, his voice trembling as he did. It was everything he had to keep from breaking down. “I love you too ya know, I have this entire time. I just… there’s so much out there that I haven’t seen, haven’t done. I’m not ready to just settle into a life of sitting home or in some office. I wish… I wish I could take you with me but I can’t ask you to do that. We both have our dreams Roy… and right now… right now they’re not along the same road…”

“I know Ed…” he replied, his own voice shaking a bit now as well. He finally turned to look at Ed again though he was jarred a bit by what he saw. He’d thought Ed was fighting back the emotion but he could see the streams of tears running down the blond’s cheeks despite the stiffness of his jaw against it. He couldn’t say anything else, his own emotions threatening to get the best of him if he did.

Reaching out, he wrapped Ed in a protective embrace. Something in the younger man seemed to fully let go as he felt Ed cling to him, his body shaking a bit from the tears. Roy couldn’t take this and he clenched his own eyes shut.

Muffled from where the younger man had hidden his face came words that it took Roy a moment to figure out. “I don’t want to spend my last night with you like this…” And those words were enough; Roy Mustang finally broke down as he tightened his hold on Ed. The tears streamed down his face. “I don’t want to either…” he replied quietly as he reluctantly moved so that he could lift the younger man’s face to look at him. They were quite the pair at the moment, red faced and crying, but Roy didn’t care.

“I’m sorry Ed…” he said quietly as he brought his thumb to the younger’s face to lightly wipe at his eyes. “I’ve made a mess of things haven’t I?”

Ed took a hold of Roy’s hand and shook his head lightly. “No worse than I did… I’m sorry too…”

Leaning down, Roy brushed his lips against Ed’s for a moment. “Let’s just make up for it before we have to part ways tomorrow then…” he whispered over those lips before pressing the kiss to them that he’d been longing to for the last two days.

~~~

Roy did not see Ed off at the train station, instead saying his farewells at the apartment they had shared. He couldn’t properly say what he wanted to in a public place like that, as much as he’d wanted to go. Neither of them knew when they would see each other again but this wasn’t good bye and they both knew that. Ed had tried to tell Roy not to wait for him, that if someone else came along he wouldn’t be mad but Roy wouldn’t hear a word of it. The Flame Alchemist had already made up his mind the night before, Ed was the one that had gotten in, had seen past his masks, seen past his walls and he was the only one he’d ever let get that far. He didn’t say that to Ed though, just shushed him on that crazy talk and given him the tenderest kiss he’d ever shared with the younger man and sent him on his way.

Every so often letters with photographs would arrive in the mail and Roy delighted in them all. Ed had found himself in some of the most interesting places, deserts, palaces, jungle villages. In every picture Roy could see how much fun he was having. He admitted it had been rare when he’d seen Ed’s smile so bright when he’d been back here in Amestris.

Of course, Roy continued on his own path, working up the ranks, making a name for himself with ground breaking policy, and superb foreign relations. It was what he’d groomed himself for all these years, what so many comrades and friends had sacrificed for all this time. It had all paid off too, it had taken all of these ten years to finally make it but he had.

The eve of his swearing in as the next Fuhrer of Amestris actually found Roy sitting on the balcony of that apartment going through the old pictures in the growing twilight. He wished Ed could be here to see this, wanted him there badly. Roy knew better though. Yes, his last return letter to Ed had told him of the happenings but he had no idea how far away Ed really was or if the letter would even reach him in time.

Standing from his seat, he gathered up the photos and the sheets of paper and headed back inside. Tomorrow was a big day and Roy knew he needed to at least try to sleep.

~~~

The ceremony was everything one would expect, well meaning speeches from people who had seen Roy’s journey to the top, expectations voiced for the future from political diplomats, and a swearing in that actually made Roy choke up a bit as Gruman delivered it. The now former Fuhrer had always been something of a mentor and perhaps a father figure to Roy so to hear him speak of his expectations and hopes meant the most. Of course, Roy delivered a perfectly executed speech as well accepting the position with grace and humility.

At the conclusion, Roy vanished into Command, to his new office, needing a moment to just breathe. Hawkeye was there waiting for him, a smile on her face.

“Beautifully done, sir,” she smiled at him. “And I know it’s been a long day but… there’s someone who’d like a word with you before you get to work…”

Roy’s brows furrowed in annoyance. All he wanted was a chance to relax a bit before the craziness of his new position began. “I really don’t want…” he started before Riza cut him off.

“You REALLY should accept this request sir,” she insisted.

Sighing and shaking his head he gave in as he collapsed into his chair. She had always known what was best for him so if Riza was going to insist he figured he’d better listen. “Fine… send them in…”

With a nod, Riza left the office. A moment later, the door opened again, a striking, long haired blond entering. “Nicely done ya bastard, finally managed to make good on something and not be completely useless,” came the familiar voice.

Roy’s eyes widened as he stood from the chair. He was in a bit of disbelief.

“You just gonna stand there and gape at me or are you gonna actually say something?” the blond teased.

“Maybe I am just going to stand here,” Roy grinned as he made his way out from behind the desk to stand before the man that had entered the office. “Nice of you to show up, Fullmetal…”

Ed simply grinned. “I got your letter the day before yesterday and you’re just lucky I was ready to come home anyway,” he teased. “But seriously, do you honestly think I would miss this after everything?”

Roy smiled that awkward, genuine smile at the younger man. “I would have understood if you had though.”

“Bullshit. You would never have let me live it down if I had, quit lying. Besides, you’re happy I’m here, admit it.”

“You’re right, I am,” Roy replied quietly resisting the urge to reach out and lightly place his hand on Ed’s cheek, cradle that face in his hand. He had no idea if he even had a place to do that anymore. Sure, Roy hadn’t moved on, had determined that the only one he wanted was Ed, but he couldn’t assume that Ed had done the same.

Ed must have been able to tell he was holding back though and stepped forward himself, his own hand coming to Roy’s face, and a smile creasing his. “You’re still useless sometimes…” he said in a whisper as he pulled Roy down a bit to meet his lips.

The action made Roy’s face flush slightly red as he wrapped his arms around Ed, holding him close as he returned the kiss. He could feel his heart racing in a way that it hadn’t since the last time this man had been in his arms ten years ago. Roy poured ten years of pent up longing and passion into that kiss and it felt as if Ed were doing the same. Those lips were just as tender and soft as he remembered them to be and Roy knew if they didn’t break this up soon, things would easily slip to something that couldn’t be done here.

Breaking away, slightly breathless, Roy looked into the bright golden eyes that he’d missed. The pictures hadn’t done their brightness, their fire, justice. He was happy to have the real thing again. “How long are you home for?” he asked as he took in how much more Ed had matured since he’d left. He had been a handsome man when he left, but the years had been very kind to him and Roy swore he looked even better now than the day he left. Maybe that was a product of the man’s growth or maybe it was simply a product of Roy’s own elation at being able to see it again. He didn’t much care though, he was simply happy to be able to lay eyes on the blond again.

Ed smiled at the question and the fact that those dark eyes were looking him over. “What if I said indefinitely?”

“Then I’d have to say I think I need to have another key to the Presidential Manor made…” Roy laughed.

“Sounds like a plan to me… I really did miss you Roy and I think…” Ed started before leaning in to whisper against Roy’s lips. “I think I’m ready to settle in Central now, if the Fuhrer still wants me that is.”

“Shut up Fullmetal, you’re being ridiculous,” Roy replied as he was the one to press their lips together one more time, though this time the kiss was lighter, tenderer. “Welcome home Fullmetal,” Roy smiled.

Ed smiled back at him, that lopsided, goofy smile that he knew Roy liked the most. “Thanks Roy, it’s good to be home… Home to stay…”


End file.
